Chizik to Auburn. Seriously?

With all of the candidates for the Auburn head coaching vacancy, from Tulsa’s Todd Graham, Ball State’s Brady Hoke, TCU’s Gary Patterson, Buffalo’s Turner Gill, Louisiana Tech’s Derek Dooley, (yea, I’m still not done)  Georgia assistant Rodney Garner, and Miami offensive coordinator  Patrick  Nix,  the

If only you were so lucky, Auburn.

If only you were so lucky, Auburn.

Tigers have assured their fan base that they will leave no stone unturned.  Reports earlier in the week had Muschamp leaving Texas to take over the reigns at Auburn, until Muschamp issued a statement stating, “I have not interviewed for any jobs. I’m not interested in any jobs. I’m happy here, my family loves Austin and I’m going to be at Texas.”  Other reports had Patterson leaving TCU to take over Tuberville’s job, but those reports turned out to be incorrect, as well.

Out of all of these respected coaches/assistants, who would you expect Auburn to choose?  The red hot Gill, who turned around a Buffalo program that no one would have expected to see the winning side of .500 in our lifetime, or even our kids’ lifetime? No.  Did they select Hoke, who lead Ball State to a 12-1 record, with their only loss coming to Gill’s Buffalo squad?  No.

Well, who did they pick, you ask?  May I introduce all of you to the new head coach of the Auburn Tigers: Gene Chizik.

You look tough now, but just wait for that Tide to run all over you.

You look tough now, but just wait for that Tide to run all over you.

Instead of any of the coaches mentioned above, sources have confirmed that the Auburn Tigers have chosen Gene Chizik, current head coach of the Iowa State Cyclones to replace former head coach (and one of the best things that ever happened to Auburn football) Tommy Tuberville.  SAY WHAT?!  Attention ladies and gentlemen, Jay Jacobs has just solidified Alabama’s place as the best team in the state for at least the next five, maybe even ten years.  This could possible go down as one of the worst coaching hires in SEC football history, and will certainly cost Jay Jacobs his job within the next few years.

Let’s break this thing down, and look at some of the stats on Chizik.  As a coordinator at Auburn and then at Texas, Chizik led those two teams to 28 straight victories comibined over the course of 2+ seasons.  He was the defensive coordinator on Auburn’s undefeated team of 2004, leading the Tigers to the #1 defense in the land by allowing just 11 points a game.  As one of the hottest coordinators in the game in 2006, Chizik was offered the head coaching job at Iowa State.  In two seasons at Iowa State, Chizik has gone just 5-19 (2-10 this season), with the Cyclones going winless in Big 12 play this year.  Now, that might have been acceptable if the Cyclones were playing in the beast that is the Big 12 South, but no.. these guys are in the North, where the only real competition is Missouri.

So, with all this in mind, Jay Jacobs decided that this man deserved to take over one of the finer programs in the SEC (ignoring this past season, of course).  And in making this wise, wise decision, Jacobs has all but given Alabama all of the state’s finest recruits, and let the Tide know that they won’t have to worry about Auburn for a while.

Thank you, Auburn, for ensuring that we will face a ridiculous Crimson Tide team stacked with amazing recruits from the state of Alabama year in and year out.  Not only that, but Alabama now has the inside track to the SEC West title every year.  So if we do happen to win the SEC East within the next few years, we will more than likely have the pleasure of facing Alabama not just once, but twice.  I thank you for that Auburn, and kindly ask you to rot in hell.  Oh wait, what did you say?  You’re already there?

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~ by drewbd on 12.13.2008.

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